So a couple months ago I finally got the incredible magical piece of art that I had been wanting for years - a pair of Beats By Dre Studios.
After gushing over them, (and I still am) polishing them, kissing them and naming them, protecting them like a child - BEATS JUST HAPPENS TO COME WITH AN ORANGE PAIR.
Okay so like I had always dreamed of an orange pair but I never thought it would happen because no one really likes orange, so I got red ones because that was closest.
Now I look at Gary (the headphones) and it's like "You fugly piece of crap. You'll never compare to Geoffrey!" Yeah, I've named the pair that I don't have yet.
Every item that I would need psychotherapy for if I lost them is named with a starting G. My dumb headphones Gary, my iTouch Gilbert, my PSP Gwyneth, and my carrying case for all of them Garth.
And of course my computer Goliath.
BUT ANYWAY.
I guarantee that if I get Geoffrey they'll come with some sort sort of amazing wireless pair of Studios that sound better, don't leak sound and are a deeper orange. SO WHY DO I EVEN TRY ANYMORE :(
And then of course the fact that when I get Gilbert they come out with Gabriella. (iPhone with Verizon)
They're gonna keep coming out with new crap as soon as I get the first one and then I'm gonna run out of G's. :(
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Eat This Not That: Fast Food Restaurants
Okay, I was bored and I started looking at these food choice things. There's a whole site dedicated to them, advising you what to order at restaurants, what kind of foods to eat, etc. Basically a weight loss program where you don't have to do jumping jacks for an hour everyday or indulge in tasteless 100 calorie versions of every food that you eat.
I came across an interesting article about fast food restaurants. Unlike most everything else on this site, I was rather surprised by some of the things listed.
First up was Domino's.
56 g fat (24 g saturated)
2220 mg sodium
...Okay. First of all - who would want to eat this?
It looks like someone threw up in a bowl and tried to decorate it.
Do we seriously need an article to tell us that's not healthy?!
If you walk up to a bomb, and there's five seconds left before it blows up in your face, are you just gonna stand there like a dummy?
"...OOOOHHH I WONDER IF THIS THING IS GONNA BLOW UP!"
No! Because when you look at it you can tell it wouldn't be a good scenario.
LESSON OF THE DAY: DON'T INGEST ANYTHING THAT RESEMBLES, FEELS LIKE OR REMINDS YOU AT ALL OF A BODILY FUNCTION.
I went to a Mexican restaurant and when we sat down at the table the waitress handed us a basket of chips and cheese dip. (Well, I'm still not positive it was cheese, but) I knew I wouldn't like it. But of course, here goes everybody sitting the table with there words of wisdom - "YOU DON'T KNOW IF FOOD IS GOOD UNTIL YOU TRY IT!"
That is bullcrap.
You can easily tell if you are going to like a good by the texture of it, and by the way it looks and smells. Guarantee. When I put that cheese dip in my mouth, it was about as big of a shock as Ricky Martin being gay. I spit that crap right out washed the taste out with some Dr. Pepper.
And you know how I could tell I wasn't going to like it?
...BECAUSE I KNEW I WASN'T GOING TO LIKE SOMETHING THAT LOOK AND FELT LIKE CUM!!!
It was thick and sticky and it had a weird crusty surface and it was shiny.
WHAT KIND OF CHEESE IS SHINY AND STICKY?!
Like, who looks at a food and goes -
"Hmm... this looks like a bowl of cum! ...I guess I'll try it anyway."
Why even put yourself through that torture?
Out of time to write. Part 2 coming later. :)
I came across an interesting article about fast food restaurants. Unlike most everything else on this site, I was rather surprised by some of the things listed.
First up was Domino's.
Domino's Chicken Carbonara Breadbowl Pasta
1480 calories56 g fat (24 g saturated)
2220 mg sodium
...Okay. First of all - who would want to eat this?
Do we seriously need an article to tell us that's not healthy?!
If you walk up to a bomb, and there's five seconds left before it blows up in your face, are you just gonna stand there like a dummy?
"...OOOOHHH I WONDER IF THIS THING IS GONNA BLOW UP!"
No! Because when you look at it you can tell it wouldn't be a good scenario.
LESSON OF THE DAY: DON'T INGEST ANYTHING THAT RESEMBLES, FEELS LIKE OR REMINDS YOU AT ALL OF A BODILY FUNCTION.
I went to a Mexican restaurant and when we sat down at the table the waitress handed us a basket of chips and cheese dip. (Well, I'm still not positive it was cheese, but) I knew I wouldn't like it. But of course, here goes everybody sitting the table with there words of wisdom - "YOU DON'T KNOW IF FOOD IS GOOD UNTIL YOU TRY IT!"
That is bullcrap.
You can easily tell if you are going to like a good by the texture of it, and by the way it looks and smells. Guarantee. When I put that cheese dip in my mouth, it was about as big of a shock as Ricky Martin being gay. I spit that crap right out washed the taste out with some Dr. Pepper.
And you know how I could tell I wasn't going to like it?
...BECAUSE I KNEW I WASN'T GOING TO LIKE SOMETHING THAT LOOK AND FELT LIKE CUM!!!
It was thick and sticky and it had a weird crusty surface and it was shiny.
WHAT KIND OF CHEESE IS SHINY AND STICKY?!
Like, who looks at a food and goes -
"Hmm... this looks like a bowl of cum! ...I guess I'll try it anyway."
Why even put yourself through that torture?
Out of time to write. Part 2 coming later. :)
ALL THESE DEFINITIONS OF HAB ON URBAN DICTIONARY
| "Half Asian Bitch. The term refers to a demographic of women that is disproportionately hot." No I'm not half asian. "(rhymes with "cab") noun; acronym for "hang and bang." Describes someone whom you have a strictly sexual relationship with; Every time you hang, you bang." So that would make a Cab Hab a taxi where you have sex with someone in. great NOW I REGRET NAMING THE BLOG CAB HAB :( |
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
HAB RHYMES WITH CAB
Cab is my signature. Whenever I write my name I just write Cab. It's only clever to me. Hab rhymes with it. I thought it sounded cool. A place to hang out. Like a strip joint. I can easily see a strip club being named "THE HAB" because it sounds like a sex position
IN OTHER NEWS-
Young male adult. I have a lot of health issues and I always feel like crap so I have all the time in the world to write a blog. I've always wanted to write a blog but I don't have the motivation
I have very entertaining drama to blog about so if you choose not to read it's your loss!
I'm fascinated with pop culture and analyzing everything I can get my hands on.
I think the analyzing part comes from my OCD.
Yes, I have OCD. It's a good mental screw up to have in my opinion. :) Unlike most people with autism or bipolar and things like that, everyone with OCD has little funny quirks. For most people who suffer from it, it's not a very serious thing. Just annoying. I do everything in 5's, I'm scared of the number 104, (no idea why. One day I looked at the clock and it said 104 and it just freaked me out. I feel like that girl from Where The Heart Is except she had valid reasons to be scared of a number) and a bunch of dumb crap like that.
Most people who over analyze things are really good at card games because they're not careless with the things they send out. For me when it comes to a game of Uno I just don't give a crap and I'm throwing cards out like an idiot so I get no use out of it
I'm overly honest and I tend to offend everybody who comes within a 1 foot radius of me, and then when they get mad I never understand.
From years of having no life and focusing my goals on pointless things I have managed to master the art of spitting out clever and witty remarks within a few seconds. Well no not really because usually when I say something it just comes out dumb but I'm still trying
AND NO I'M NOT GAY I JUST ACT IT
IN OTHER NEWS-
Young male adult. I have a lot of health issues and I always feel like crap so I have all the time in the world to write a blog. I've always wanted to write a blog but I don't have the motivation
I have very entertaining drama to blog about so if you choose not to read it's your loss!
I'm fascinated with pop culture and analyzing everything I can get my hands on.
I think the analyzing part comes from my OCD.
Yes, I have OCD. It's a good mental screw up to have in my opinion. :) Unlike most people with autism or bipolar and things like that, everyone with OCD has little funny quirks. For most people who suffer from it, it's not a very serious thing. Just annoying. I do everything in 5's, I'm scared of the number 104, (no idea why. One day I looked at the clock and it said 104 and it just freaked me out. I feel like that girl from Where The Heart Is except she had valid reasons to be scared of a number) and a bunch of dumb crap like that.
Most people who over analyze things are really good at card games because they're not careless with the things they send out. For me when it comes to a game of Uno I just don't give a crap and I'm throwing cards out like an idiot so I get no use out of it
I'm overly honest and I tend to offend everybody who comes within a 1 foot radius of me, and then when they get mad I never understand.
From years of having no life and focusing my goals on pointless things I have managed to master the art of spitting out clever and witty remarks within a few seconds. Well no not really because usually when I say something it just comes out dumb but I'm still trying
AND NO I'M NOT GAY I JUST ACT IT
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